Years ago, before freedom was invented, the British Empire controlled the northeastern portion of the North American continent. In these territories, the American settlers chartered the wilderness, built houses and started new businesses. Soon the British King, known as “Mad George”, began taxing the American colonists at an ever-increasing rate. The Americans, now jaded and poor, had soon reached their limit.
Downright fed-up with British soldiers attacking the citizens of Boston and adding new taxes on everything under the sun, Bostonians began dumping crates of their heavily-taxed tea into the harbor in protest.
This angered King George, and the conflict would only escalate as Britain sent more soldiers to America, hoping to quell the protests and subjugate Americans under military rule. These new soldiers were spotted on arrival by a particularly observant American colonist named Paul Revere, who rode into town to warn everyone of the looming threat.
Perhaps the best meme of 1775
The next day, American colonists met with British soldiers in the towns of Lexington and Concord. But instead of throwing a tea party, the two sides battle and the British soldiers are forced to retreat.
Further battles are fought between the opposing armies. The Americans succeed in capturing Fort Ticonderoga and defeat the British at the battle of Bunker Hill. Initially a protest over excessive taxation, the colonists began to imagine life without Britain altogether. Americans, now governed by their own “Continental Congress”, submit to Mad George their “Declaration of Independence”.
Now fully committed in their fight for self-rule, the American army marches on and wins further victories in the towns of Saratoga and Valley Forge. France, at odds with Britain and impressed with the colonists, joins them in their fight.
The British army, now led by a guy named “Cornwallis”, is conclusively defeated in the Battle of Yorktown. Soon after, representatives from the British Empire and the newfound United States of America meet in Paris to negotiate an end to the conflict. The resultant peace treaty grants the Americans control over the insurgent 13 colonies and allows the new nation to expand westward.
An unprecedented victory for freedom-lovers everywhere, American independence showed once and for all that we need not tolerate insufferable conditions imposed on us by others. Tyrants, no matter how wealthy or unhinged, are never invincible.
